I'm upstairs in the office. Downstairs there is the sudden scampering of urgent feet heading into the bathroom. A few moments later I hear:

"Dad!"

I ignore it.

"Daaaad!"

I'm good at this. I ignore it again.

"Daaaaaaaaad!"

I give in.

"What?"

"I'm doing the horriblest poo ever! Get the air freshener..."



.