Sometimes I love the tourist season. I overheard this conversation in a café in Fort William this afternoon. A middle-aged lady of North British accent is on a mobile phone:

"We're going back to the cottage now... ...In Fort William... Just put on the sat-nav and it's in it... It's already in it... In the sat-nav... Just press the button and Fort Williams is in it... For the cottage... just follow that.... Press 'Previous Destination'... 'Previous Destination'... in the sat-nav... yes... the sat-nav... yes... No, press the button... 'Previous Destination'... Right... Right... See you."

She puts the phone away and turns to her friend. "They don't stand a cat in hell's chance, do they?"

Her friend shakes her head. "No," she says sadly. "No they don't."