I think the Koala Brothers are trying to take over the country.

The Koala Brothers, for those of you who don't have weans, is a well above average, animated kids' TV show featuring the gentle, problem-solving adventures of a couple small Australian marsupials called Frank and Buster and their friends.

Frank and Buster - or vice versa

One of the catchphrases they use in the show is, "We're here to help." They say it all the time. "We're here to help." Frank and Buster fly a little yellow plane and much of the packaging associated with this show features them in the plane towing a banner which says: "We're Here to Help".

Do your own uncomfortable segue from the Outback of Australia to the Highlands of Scotland here because I can't think of one.

My village is not big. It does have have a shop (a Co-op with a Post Office) and a part-time bank (RBS - only open Tuesdays and Fridays 9:30 - 3:30 with an hour off for lunch in the middle.)

Yesterday I noticed the sack of cheap (i.e. unwashed) potatoes I had bought from Morrison's in the Fort had a Customer Service Helpline.

"Hello, you're though to the dirty
potato hotline. How may I help you?"

I'm convinced there is more to this than meets the eye. I also wonder what kind of advice the helpline hands out, given that, above their phone number, there is this wonderful piece of advice.

Do people really need to be told to wash the dirt off food before they 'use' it?

I suspect koala bears think they do.