Part 2 of the "Every film I watched, attempted to watch, or fell asleep in the middle of" for 2018.

December

1. Five Fingers -
   
2. Monty Python's meaning of Life
3. Fortress - well that was as awful as I remembered it being. Holy crap! They made a sequel!
4. She Wore a Yellow Ribbon - which, having not watched it for many years and then obviously not on a colour television ( yes- that long!), I was surprised to find wasn't in Black and White.
5. The Scarlet Claw Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes
6. Storm - Swedish SF/Fantasy/Existential Angst/Couldn't Make Its Mind Up movie that started off well but just lost me somewhere as it all turned out to be a lot less interesting than it was trying to be.
   
7. Star Trek Nemesis - I guess this must have been one of the more interesting Star Trek films because I only fell asleep once while watching it.
8. Lost Future - In the distant future tribal survivors of a plague fight for survival and a cure - watchable despite some seriously holey plot. Impressive set design work though.
   
9. The Tomorrow Man - not bad low-budget (near zero SFX ) time travel story in which a wanted criminal goes back in time to kidnap himself from his abusive father in order to take him into the future to give him a better childhood.
10. In Time - nice idea (time is literally currency - everyone gets born with 25 years of life but can buy gamble trade for more time to extend their lives) and it's an idea interestingly played with - but there are plot holes you could drive several buses through (side by side some of them) and enough 'gosh! wasn't THAT lucky?' moments for several films, but it looks good. Very stylish. There was enough going on that wasn't totally stupid to keep me watching .
11. Valley of the Bees (1967) - I don't know a lot about Czech cinema but so far I have been pretty well impressed by everything I have seen.
12. Ocean's Twelve - That was silly. A bit soggy at the end but a fun ride.
13. Return of the Pink Panther - I introduce my younger kids to Inspector Cluseau. We all giggled like loons. Great fun.
14. Iron Sky - it had its moments.
15. Narcoplis - low budget British SF which thought it was cleverer than it was. Anyone who had read any Philip K Dick or read ANY time travel SF could have told you what was going to happen for the rest of the film from about 5 minutes in. The rest of the world could have told you from about 10 minutes in. The film has a prologue set twenty years before the action of the main film. A title card "Twenty years earlier" separates the two. Our cop hero finds the unidentifiable body of a man of about 29 years old - and then goes to see his nine year old son and gives him a copy of H G Wells' The Time Machine as a present. (Three Very Dramatic Chords please)... blah blah blah...
    
16. The Mask - (with Number One Son). Never seen it before. I thought it was crap.
17. It's a Wonderful Life - with Number 2 Daughter.
18. Alien - with Number 1 Daughter.
19. Forbidden Planet - with daughter #2
20. Razorback - Giant mutant pig terrorizes a bit of the Australian outback as seen through the filter of an MTV video director who went on to make the hilariously awful Highlander.
21. Dracula 3: Legacy A film I own only because it has Rutger Hauer in in it - a few years ago I dared myself to watch every film he has ever made. Boy has he been in some s**t. I have no idea why I dared myself to do this stupid thing but I did and I shall. Dracula 3: Legacy was very s**t. One of those films where Hauer was obviously on set for two or three days at most (all his scenes took place in one set) and had a huge vampire lesbian orgy in it (on a different set) which was even less interesting than the usual lackluster "Do we have to...?" movie lesbian vampire stuff that turns up in Jean Rollin's movies of the 70s. I really must get round to watching some of his good films.
22. My Bloody Valentine (1981) Canadian slasher film on a DVD, which my teenage daughter tells me, has been shorn of all the "Good Gory Bits". From her descriptions of what was cut I don't think I missed much.

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