Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A strange day. I spent most of it stuck in the airing cupboard painting it white. Merriol is off work for a week - or something (I'm sure she has told me no end of times how many days she isn't going to be working this month but my brain just doesn't retain facts any more - unless they are to do with Bela Lugosi movies) so I get to do heroic things like finish all the jobs I started over the previous four years and abandoned for a variety of reasons - most oftenly to start another unfinished job.

Oftenly? Did I just type 'oftenly'? Oh god... That's the kids. I am forgetting all the grammar I ever knew, forgetting how to construct simple words too. They are leeching it all out of me. They have built some sort of brain sucking device from Lego blocks and Barbie parts and point it at my head while I'm not looking. I'm sure as hell loosing the ability to do joined-up thinking.

Tonight to give my brain a rest from the tedium of standing on a small ladder in a tiny room an painting white paint on top of white paint I flopped in front of a Bela Lugosi movie. I love Bela Lugosi flicks, he is such a wonderful ham and appeared in some really dreadful films. (The only drawback to watching them though, is I tend to talk like the Count from Sesame Street for days afterwards: "One machine with lots of electrical sparks... Two machines with lots of electrical sparks... Three machines... The fools! The fools! I wil haf my revenj upon tem!"
Tonight's offering from the deeply shit box of 50 all time unwatchable tosh was The Phantom Creeps - which, after a bewilderingly incomprehensible first few minutes soon sank down into a level of unwatchability I have rarely encountered before. Nothing made ANY sense whatsoever - I abandoned it. (Gasp!) Yep. It was THAT bad. Turns out what I was attempting to watch was a 265 min (12 episode) Saturday morning serial edited down to an breathtakingly messy 78 minute feature film. No wonder people kept arriving at the same door over and over again and there was a car plummeting over a cliff every five minutes - sometimes the same car, quite often the same cliff. Nice to know though I still have some will power and critical faculties left after Holly and Daisy have syphoned off most of my higher cerebral activity via their Brain-Suckotron.

If only I could lurn to use it's powerr for myselv. I could maik miselv Invincible! I could efen rule Te Worlt!


And another Cartoon - which is slightly funnier than yesterday's, but that wasn't difficult - Guilt! Phoebe Southwood! Guilt!

1 comment:

Phoebe said...

1) She's off for three weeks.
2) You are a total hero.
3) I'm glad there was one that was too bad for you.
4) From now on, I'll always say 'worlt'
5) You are inherently good at guilt. (I'm sorry! I hope it's ok I sent people to see your site! I think it's brilliant!!!)

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