Monday, August 27, 2007

Today's great totally non-surprising discovery: I chanced upon this site tonight. It's a site dedicated to Electronic Ambient Music. Always open to the delights of new music - especially if it is free, as this lot is, I had a listen.

'Electronic Ambient' turns out to be the sort of pointless, tuneless, invisible stuff that plays in the background of games like Myst. It's all vague and dribbley electronic ooooooooooaaaaaah and gentle gongs and bucketfuls of echo. Pointless pseudo Spiritually-uplifting musical Prozac that makes the inane Celtic drivel I ranted about a while ago sound like Satan Ate My Puppy Thrash Metal. It's the sort of stuff you don't notice until it stops.
After a few minutes of increasing boredom I tried playing several of the tracks simultaneously - and found it made no difference whatsoever. It was amazing. It sounded exactly the same! Okay, maybe it was slightly louder, but it was certainly no more interesting. Normally when you play two pieces of music simultaneously it either sounds dreadful or, if you are very lucky, weirdly mashed up funny. I added a few more tracks and it started to get a bit more interesting but hardly anything worth bothering to repeat. (I suspect the only interest I was finding in it was wondering just how many tracks Firefox could play simultaneously without crashing.)

How can you play seven pieces of music at the same time and still not get any discords?

I think I may have just invented the world's most pointless art form, and, as its only current practitioner*, I can tell you that 'Electronic Ambient Mashup' is the only kind of music yet discovered that is improved by the interruption of Windows error alert sounds.

* 'Electronic Ambient Mashup' gets zero hits on Google so I claim this art form as my own. It's mine! I am the Godfather of EAM! and if I could be bothered I'd write a manifesto - then stand up and mumble it gently to myself.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I recorded a few tapes (yes: casette tapes - my car stereo has not yet heard of the digital revolution) recently from playlists I'd created using iTunes. Not difficult - my computer runs through my amplifier anway, so I just had to plug in the old seperates tape deck and hit record whilst iTunes did its thing on my computer.

Driving through the cotswolds a few days later, listening to some refreshingly different tapes from the previous months, it was quite alarming to suddenly hear the noises of someone playing Spider Solitaire in the car. There were also, as in your tale, windows error alerts.

Maybe I need to put more Ambient Electronica in my collection, because I can tell you: Solitaire and error messages do not a good mix-tape make.

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