Thursday, November 29, 2007

I'm Stretching My Cheese To Make it Taste Nicer

Dread 7 Weird Things Meme.

I've been thinking about this on and off all day.

"Share 7 random and or weird things about yourself."

Right. Weird Things About Myself. I don't know how to do this. I don't know any weird things about myself. Everything I do is perfectly normal and logical and makes sense in the context of me. As soon as I start to think "Oh, I do this weird thing," and start to say so, I sound like a desperate saddo like Rik from the Young Ones. Desperate to be wild and with it and "Yeah wow! I'm so whacky! Me I'm really weird you know...!" Argh! Cringe. Cringe. Actually people used to think I looked like Rik Mayal (who played Rik) which I always thought was weird. OK, so that was number one. People used to think I looked like Rik Mayal.
Right. That's my way in. Other things people have thought weird about me:
  1. People used to think I looked like Rik Mayal
  2. I was so pissed off with the 'Millennium' and everything that had anything to do with it that when I was asked (on the day) to work for the night of the 31st December 1999 as a KP in the kitchens of a local 4* hotel (Their normal KP having presumably pissed off to London or Glasgow to earn £500 quids for a night's work doing exactly the same thing I was going to do) I only asked my normal hourly rate of five pounds an hour instead of the twenty, thirty, or even forty I might have got if I had asked for it. I hate New Year's at the best of times. Celebrating the start of a New Millennium a year early was just too much. I was much happier washing pots all night than being forced into drunken bonhomie with loads of other drunken strangers.
  3. People in Los Angeles though it weird that after living there six months I couldn't wait to leave.
  4. People think it weird that my CD collection is in alphabetical order and the CDs are the right way up in the cases.
  5. People seem to find my fascination with Very Bad Science Fiction movies a bit bewildering but it is so simple. I can't imagine why people don't get this at all. So here it is again. In slow motion. With subtitles - and a director's commentary track: Most of everything is mediocre. It just is. Movies are no different. Most movies are mediocre. There's this big fat bell curve with utter crud at one end and sheer genius gob-stopping works of art at the other. In the middle is this huge fat bulge of mediocrity. The interesting stuff is at the edges, and the sheer genius gob-stopping works of art end of the spectrum is very well explored and documented. Everyone knows that Roshamon, La Strada, Citizen Kane etc. are Great Films. No, it's much more fun poking about in the sewage at the other end and finding mind numbingly awful movies that redefine the bottom of the barrel. It's great fun watching people inventing and reinventing new and interesting ways of fucking up. And believe me after watching a few movies like Robot Monster, Teenagers from Outer Space, or anything with Hercules in the title, the bell curve suddenly shifts. In trekkie terms you recalibrate your appreciation. A lot of the mediocre suddenly starts to look good. A lot of the dreadful looks interesting. Still hasn't made any Star Trek movies worth watching though.
  6. I own a working Betamax player. Just in case.
  7. I own a sixteen and two thirds RPM LP. With nothing to play it on - one of these days.
I am now going to cop out and NOT tag anyone else with this. Sorry.










1 comment:

pj said...

thanks for doing that.

May I also point out that I think it's weird that you keep a list of all the things you watched and read?

Just sayin.

Weird in a good way.

Or ... good in a weird way.

Maybe it's not weird as much as it is uncommonly thorough.

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