I've got a cold. I have a sore throat. My voice is awful. It is one of the great minor injustices of life that when men get colds their voices sound dreadful, adenoidal and rough, like a pubescent frog, but when women get colds and sore throats their voices get deep and weirdly sexy. Merriol's voice turns into Kathleen Turner's and mine turns into Adrian Mole, aged 13¾.

It's not fair.




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