Tuesday, February 14, 2012

More Thrifty Tips for Twats

Being more of the same as yesterday's post:

The Recession, Thrift, and the Need for Revolution

Which (if you haven't already) you had better read before going on, just to get the drift of what I'm chuntering about.

I put children's felt tip drawings in white Ikea frames and hang them all together. It is much cheaper than buying expensive art and more personal.

Savannah Miller - fashion designer
So, basically, cheap art costs less money than expensive art. Well there's a 'No Shit, Sherlock!' award winner if I ever saw one. Don't buy a Damien Hirst, get the au-pair to ask Jocasta and Hermione to scribble on some paper and stick it on the wall... Savannah, you're a genius!

And remind me never to accept a dinner invite from this woman:

For a brilliant pore-cleansing scrub mix orange juice or lemon juice with baking soda and crushed papaya. And eat the leftovers for breakfast.

Marcia Kilgore - founder of Hope and Glory skincare
and FitFlops shoes

All together now, "Eeeeewwww!"

But wait!

Chinese supermarkets are brilliant for Zen-esque bamboo kitchen utensils, wooden bowls and prettily patterned ceramic bowls.

Michelle Ogunehin - editor in chief of 'Elle Decoration'

'Zen-esque'?!? It's at moments like this that I start to ask myself deep and meaningful questions like, "If a fashionista falls in the forest does anyone give a shit?" and "What is the sound of one hand clapping an overpaid tosser round the ear-hole?"

Lanterns in the trees in the garden are so pretty at night. I am currently saving up all my glass yogurt pots to tie wires round and hang from branches with tea lights in them. I know that yogurt in glass pots is not exactly thrifty but once you recycle them, surely you can offset the cost!
Rita Kong - interior designer and author

It was news to me yogurt came in glass jars but then I shop at Lidl, not Waitrose.

That little whiny gasp at the end of this one at least shows that Rita knows she's talking wank. What she's realized she's saying is, "You too can justify the expense of buying something posh in overly expensive packaging by doing something pointless with the jars afterwards."

Dead thrifty.

Right, I've had enough of these twattering, self-deluding loons.

I'll leave you with one last bit from the article which I did think was a genuinely good piece of advice. I would love to know the story behind it.

Don't drink half a bottle of red wine before going on eBay.

Ben Pentreath - interior designer

Waking up the next morning to find you've spent the night nobbing someone called Tracy who smells like an ashtray and looks like the back end of a block of flats is one thing. Waking up and finding you've bought something as fuck ugly as, say, a painting called "Nicolas Cage awaken by naked man with a fudgesicle" (oil on Canvas panel 12x16) must be another.

Nicolas Cage awaken by naked man with a fudgesicle oil on Canvas panel 12x16

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