Thursday, March 30, 2006


Phoebe and Tyler are away off back to London and then back to the USA (Tyler is due back at work on Monday). I'm going to miss them. After a week of concentrated Hanging Out and catching up with the last season of Dr Who and introducing them toThe Mighty Booshand breeding new strains of the common cold from samples gathered from around the world using only our bodies and that of our children as test subjects. A week wasn't long enough!

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I Caught Your Fart and Put It In My Interesting Fish Bag

I love bathtimes.

My interesting fart was later taken out of the Interesting Fish Bag* and "a man put it through an interesting sorter" after which it went down the plughole and "ended up in the sewage".

*or, more correctly, "the Interesting Interesting Interesting Interesting Interesting Interesting - (pause) - Fish BAG!"

There's a Piglet Sticker in My Shoe

Phoebe and Tyler arrive tomorrow! We got a phone call last night to say that they would be coming up on the Sleeper on Tuesday Night. This gives me exactly 24 hours to get this place looking like it has been tidied up at least once in the three years since they were last here.

I'm too tired to tidy up. 90% of my time is spent wiping snot off Daisy's face. I have no idea how small children can produce so much snot. It's incredible. More comes out than goes in. Astronomers have been long puzzled by the thiness of matter in the universe. If current comsological thinking is correct there should just be more stuff in the Universe than we can see. Nobody knows where this missing stuff is, this so called "Dark Matter".

I know.

It's up babies' noses waiting to come out.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Phoebe and Tyler are both here! Phoebe is wondering the streets of London mugging Drunken Irishmen for hats and I guess Tyler is just wondering what day it is! Merrio and I have been mailing, texting, and phoning between the two of them.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Phoebe is arriving in the UK on Friday! Tyler the day after.


This will be the first time I have seen them since the weddingish, over three years ago, and only the second time we will have met for real since Phoebe and I collided somewhere on the wonderful worldwide interweb (beta).

I hope they are not disappointed by the domestic chaos that my life seems to have become. Did I once have dreams about doing something important with my life? I can't remember. I just know that being here and looking after the kids and Merriol is all I want to do at the moment. I am doing something important with my life.

Having said that; I am getting this terrible itch to write again...

More baaaaad SF coming soon.

Friday, March 10, 2006

The previously unconcidered hazards of having children Number 432:

I have forgotten how to run a hot bath. After 3 and a half years of running baths of a suitable temperature for kids I have lost the abilility to make myself a hot bath. I set one running then nip off to to X, Y, and Z; timing my tasks nicely so that I return in time to find a full bath. A full tepid bath. Again! Cold tap running full pelt. Every fucking time. And if there are two facts everyone knows about luke-warm baths they are:
  1. They're no fun
  2. It's impossible to add enough hot water to get it comfortable. (The whole boiling a frog slowly thing.)

Bugger Bugger Bugger.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Air Is Just Very Dry Water

Busy busy week doing house stuff. Merriol is signed off work for two weeks and is abed, ordered to stay there for as long as possible doing as little as possible. This means I am doing as much of everything else as possible, which means I am neglecting the blog something chronic. Sorry about that, blog.

Meanwhile Holly has discovered a rich seam of random surreality which has, so far this week, manifested itself in the very strange "Snail Dance", and something called "Fish Pumping". Neither of which bear repeating in polite company.

There are moments though when I wish I had a video camera permanently strapped to my head, or maybe not:

There are two Boys in my nursery called Lewis, aren't there?

Really? What's the other one called?

(Long, long pause as she stares at me and wonders if this
idiot she calls 'Daddy' is really related to her) - Lewis?


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