Wednesday, May 16, 2007

You Can Get More Smells Up Your Nose Because You Have Bigger Nostrils

Another cartoon today - and I broke my world land speed record. Today was the shortest time I have had between getting the annoying little idea and getting it onto neatly arranged piles of pixels. About an hour from the stupid idea to the moment I was happy with the picture. And that wasn't a solid hour sat in front of the pooter, it was done just grabbing a few moments each time as I was passing. I love 'cut' and 'paste'. I mean one sheep looks pretty much like another after all.

I am afflicted with a terrible disease. I can't stop reading. All my life I have been an avid reader, ever since the age of four or so I have read anything and everything that passes in front of me. As a child I remember being told to stop reading while I was eating and put my book down. I have an abiding childhood memory of munching breakfast reading the backs of the only thing with words that were allowed on the table - cereal packets. I'm sure I could have recited the Kellogg's Corn Flake added vitamin list at the drop of a hat.

Even these days I still read packets and instructions without noticing I'm doing it - until something stupid about them sits up and hits me. The other day I noticed a packet of Scottish Blend tea bags had this helpful health factoid written on the side:
'Tea is a good source of fluids'
Wow! I never knew that. Did you know that? Tea, a product that is 99.9+% water, is a good source of fluids! What will they think of next? Why do they put this patronising crap on the sides of packets?

Today I noticed this on a pack of Daisy's nappies:
Huggies Little Walkers
Nappy Pants

All the absorbency of a nappy,
with all the freedom of a pant.

Simple comme une culotte,
super absorbante comme une couche.
'All the freedom of a pant'? What does that mean? What the hell is A pant?

The odd thing is that the French appears to be as weirdly meaningless as well. I have very little French but had always understood the word culottes was a plural. Wikipedia (peace be upon it) says:.
..the term "culottes" in French is now used to describe womens panties, an article of clothing that has little or no relation to true culottes*.
'Une culotte' is French for 'a pant'.

Annoying as I found this irritating bit of meaningless puff on a product I had already bought, I consoled myself with the thought that it must be very annoying to Canadians.

*I was going to remove the link in this quote but I didn't just in case anyone was tempted to look up panties, I know I am from time to time - but don't tell Merriol.

And if you are asking yourself just how much lower will this man stoop to make a cheap joke? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you right now.


Anonymous said...

But Liam, Sweetie!!! Where have you BEEN ???
After all a brassiere is a single item and a pair of stockings is TWO. So, logically (and we men must be logical for the sake of the other poor dears) any single garment must have a singular name, thus a knicker, a pant and a short.

But one does rather agree that one MUST draw the line at a trouser or a tight or legging and I agree that a culotte is really going a little too far - but that the French for you. The darlings, even some of the boys, are still wearing French Knickers after all.

Perhaps you have not been reading the captions on photographs in the better class of advertisements for ladies' intimate undergarments (lately known as "delicates" I would have you know) .

DO keep up darling!

Mwah, mwah.

Vinnie J.

Anonymous said...

That wiki link is priceless. Cultural impact, indeed! They're PANTIES!

Missing CD? Contact vendor

Free CD
Please take care
in removing from cover.

Copyright (c) 2004-2007 by me, Liam Baldwin. That's real copyright, not any 'creative commons' internet hippy type thing.

(this copyright notice stolen from

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