Sunday, January 25, 2009

We Are Buddist Monks - Biscuits! Biscuits! Biscuits!

Long time since I posted. Most of the time since I did has been spent doing 'all the dumb things I gotta do' and writing and performing a half hour play for the High School about the life and poetry of Robert Burns (250 years old today). Three performances after a very short period of rehearsal/devising. But we got paid, so we must have done something right. There's a possibility of getting paid for it again as we may be doing another performance at another school next week.
The time not spent doing all the dumb stuff and being a luvvie was spent glued to the almost complete works of Ed Wood which arrived in a box last week.

Six pounds, and five minutes hacking the DVD to a multi-region player - these are region 1 discs - well spent in my view. Though whether the ten or so hours I spent glued to the crap contained in it was worth it is open to discussion.

Part one of my How To Survive a B Movie guide, rules to be followed if you ever suspect you are a character in a low budget SF movie:
  1. Never Trust A Disembodied Brain. Honest, they are not to be trusted. All Brains in Jars are evil - or about to become so very very soon. And don't think because they are in a glass jar in a laboratory they can't come after you. It's a well known fact that, freed from the rigours of having to do all the dumb stuff we all have to do every day, even the most kindly and beneficent of human beings will become an raving egomaniacal monster with superhuman mental powers within minutes of having their brain plonked in a jar of vaguely murky nutrient solution.
  2. If You Hear A Theremin - Run! That's all, just run. The first bit of electronicy ooooeeeeeoooooooooo! you hear, you GTF out of there. Don't stop and look over your shoulder, don't explore any further into the strange, still warm to to the touch, thing that landed with a pulsing light in the next door field, just run. But above all do not keep on petting in an open topped car. For some reason Theremin playing bug-eyed monsters just love hetrosexuals making out in open topped cars.
To be continued...

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