Are Those Your Lemons, Madam?

I failed. Failed Failed Failed. 83 Bejillion good movies I need to watch before I die and last night I addled what's left of my brain with The Starlost: Deception a stinkingly bad SF "movie" made by glueing two episodes of a 1973 TV series together and running away before anyone noticed.

Canada's second greatest contribution to crap SF TV (first place goes to William Shatner) the Starlost is one of those SF shows where the automatic sliding doors make more noise GBZZZZZZZZshup! - than the ray guns pew! The Starlost only ran for 16 episodes before it was taken outside and shot.

And with stunning dialogue like this, between silver hot panted Space Bimbo and Kier Dullea as "Devon" trying to hide behind his moustache, you can see why

"I'll do the show but only if I can have a huge
Gay Moustache so no one knows it's me."

Space Bimbo:
You've never tasted food like this before...

Devon:
I've never seen statues that change before or people
who appear and disappear before my eyes before either

Just try saying that out loud - it's bollocks! a few moment later:

Space Bimbo:
Is the Ark in any immediate danger?

Devon:
It could be, we just don't know when!

Maybe Canadian dictionaries of the 70s defined "immediate" differently - I dunno - but after that line I switched off and went and did something else meaning to come back and watch the rest of it later. Luckily Holly somehow managed to tape CBeebies over the second half of the tape the next morning so I was spared! Hurrah!


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