Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Dan moves into his new place tomorrow. Leathermen survived their trip through the dishwasher. Mmmmm shiny Leathermen.

Holly was VERY hard work today. Somedays she is just possessed by some demon spawn child and everything she says either starts with "NO!" or "I don't want..." Today was one of those days. I am exhausted.

Flopped tonight and watched "Spirited Away" which is a total treat. Bloody ravishingly lovely to look at, and knowing nothing about Japanese mythology, totally baffling but intriguing and funny. Go rent it.

Tomorrow Mike and I have to finish the script. Hmmmm Currently we are trying to get the obvious villain defeated before revealing the true villain who has been pulling his strings. I'm writing this blogentry as a way of avoiding redoing this bit where, to explain what the hell our characters are doing wandering around a palace in China, I have concocted this piece of nonsence by channeling Henny Youngman (but not very well). For some unknown reason I have Puss suddenly turning into a private eye: (though it has just occurred to me there's a Private Dick joke trying to get out here). "The Wanabee" it should be explained is a bit part player who in the previous scene managed to finagle herself a part in the show - as a coffee table...

Puss

(Sam Spade voice) It was Friday. I was working the late shift. I went to China Town - but in China, Chinatown is really big so I went to Scottishtown instead. All the time I kept my ear to the ground…

Dick

…and?

Puss

I got dirty ears; but then I had a break.

Trubadour

Go anywhere nice?

Puss

The Maldives - there I got on the trail of Mister Big. I pulled a few strings (that’s the last time they’ll let me into that puppet theatre) and I got a lead - all I needed now was a dog and somewhere to walk it. Finally the case began to bust wide open, which serves me right for buying cheap luggage from Argos I got back to headquarters. They had a couple of The King’s lousy henchrats in the cells. I went to talk to them…

Blackout. Puss switches on the practical table lamp and shines it onto the two glove puppet rats from the kitchen scene. They are wearing orange overalls. The Wanabee is manipulating the puppets.

Puss

OK, you dirty rats, spill the beans.

They empty a tin of Heinz Beans on the floor

Puss

Cute.

1st Rat

(Pre-recorded helium voice) You’ll never make me squeal copper!

Puss slaps the rats left, right, left. They snap back and forth as he does so and continue to do so when he has stopped - (which Naked Gun Movie is this gag from? Answers on a postcard please to the usual address).

Other Rat

Yeah, you’ll never get us to tell you the Boss took the necklace to the palace of the Terribly Mysterious Multi Millionaire and has hidden it in on the top shelf of the third cupboard from the left in the master bedroom.

1st rat

Yeah, you’ll never get us to tell you that - Where’s my lawyer?


1 comment:

Brian Dobby said...

Dashiell Hammet lives!

Missing CD? Contact vendor

Free CD
Please take care
in removing from cover.

Copyright (c) 2004-2007 by me, Liam Baldwin. That's real copyright, not any 'creative commons' internet hippy type thing.

(this copyright notice stolen from http://jonnybillericay.blogspot.com/)

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